Portal:Music
 |
Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Music portal.
By far the most musical portal you will ever find. |
|
To understand music, we must first understand sound. Sound is an ingredient used to make tuna casserole. (It is disputed whether sound is sweet or savory.) Sound is alive. The hills are alive with it. Just ask Julie Andrews.
The word "Music" comes from two parts: Mute and sick, basically meaning if you don't mute it you get sick. Therefore generally speaking music are created to make people sick, either feeling high or dying.
Highlighted Article
 |
| The Skin Flute has greatly increased in popularity due to additives that can increase comfortable playing time by nearly four hours. |
The skin flute is a musical instrument of the woodwind family. Unlike other woodwind instruments, a flute is a reedless wind instrument that produces its sound from the flow of air against an edge called "blowing". The size and shape of a skin flute is both wide spread and varied, from the 3 1/2" "Pee Wee" through to the related hybrid Pink Oboe some of which have been known to top 14 inches, with substantial girth.
The Skin Flute is traditionally not a difficult instrument to master, although some might argue that it is an acquired taste, egged on by a deep desire to play with it and lave attention on it. Unlike the woodwind flute, it is not necessary to perfect an embouchure to play the skin flute, making the skin flute far easier to master than an orchestral flute - gag reflex excepted. As it only has one single hole, it is unlike its modern brethern; however should one encounter a skin flute with hole(s) along its sides it is best left alone. Careful manipulation with the fingers, tongue or lips can provide a variety of responses, allowing a master skin flautist to reach a crescendo or ease into a more subdued passage....
| Archive | Article credit: Mhaille | (more...) |
Music in the News
 |
MIDDLE AMERICA AND/OR CANADA -- Retail monopoly and threat to America, Wal-Mart, has told ultra-lame band Green Day that it will not stock its newest CD, 21st Century Breakdown.
Wal-Mart spokesperson Fred Habbemaster told UnNews today that, "in light of the fact that some of the lyrics are salty, but mostly because Green Day has gone from dreadful to unbelievably lame, we feel it is unconscionable to foist such crap on the American public. I mean, we have a conscience, you know?"
 |
UnNews Audio (file info) |
| Listen to this story! | |
Problems playing this file? You might be a dope. |
|
| Archive | Article credit: Zim ulator | (more...) |
Featured Image
 | |||
|
If John Lennon was the Walrus, then why is this Paulrus part of the Beatles exhibit at the Museum of Natural Science and History?
|
Featured Artist
 |
| Bowie's crooked grimace changes quickly when the Doctor explains that things "won't be working quite the same again" |
David "give it here" Bowie (January 23 1889 - August 12 2016) is the pseudonym of former London second-hand car salesman David "Yeah, course it has an MOT" Jones. His chief claim to fame was his portrayal of a bi-sexual Alien in the early seventies.
He has largely continued an unsuccessful career to the present day though bit parts in mediocre films and jumping on the latest bandwagon in Music....
| Archive | Article credit: Sycamore | (more...) |
Lyric of the Week
“No, I'm not a stranger Look! I have an umbrella!”
- ~ From the UnTunes song: You can stand under my umbrella (you can also feel my antenna)
Featured UnTunes
|
| PLAY>MP3 |
I Like Cats (The Other White Meat)
I'm what you might call an animal lover
Horses, kangaroos and chimpazees
But dogs and birds and fish don't satisfy me
For cats they are the sweetest, you see.
Chorus:
I like cats with mustard
I like cats with chili cheese
Cat sausages, cat fricassee
Won't you try some cat chili?
I think that cats are great to eat...
| Archive | Musical credit: Todd Lyons | (more...) |
Recent Articles in Music
UnReviews:Wall-E_(music_video) NSFW • American Pie • Giant Jew Band • UnTunes:Troops on the Ground • In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida • I Am the Walrus • UnTunes:Confessions of a Telemarketer • UnTunes:Ur So Phat and you don't even like food • HowTo:Write Colin Meloy Lyrics • Industrial Metal • Emo Rap • Phil Ochs • UnBooks:Great Abridged Pop Songs • UnTunes:I Will Possess Your Log