Brooke Shields

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Brooke Shields
[[File:Brooke Shields (2008).JPG ]]
Brooke Shields, 2008
Date of birth: May 31, 1965 (1965-05-31) (age 59)
Spouse: Andre Agassi (1997–1999)
Chris Henchy (2001–present)

Brooke Shields (born May 31, 1965) is an American actress, model and author. Some of her better-known and most controversial movies include Pretty Baby, where she plays a 12-year-old girl who lives in a brothel with her prostitute mother, and The Blue Lagoon, where she plays a 14-year-old girl who lives on an island with her lover-brother. She also starred in TV shows such as Suddenly Susan, where she portrays an instantly transforming transsexual superhero, and in Lipstick Jungle, which features cat fighting.

Career

Modeling

Born Christa Brooke Camille Lolita Shields, her career as a nude child model began in 1966 at the age of 11 months. She continued as a successful nude model with agent Eileen Ford, whose previous exploits included raising the horseless carriage to superstardom. In a Lifetime Network biography, Ford said she started her children's division just for Shields--and for men who liked looking at little girls and little boys.

At age 14 in early 1980, Shields was the youngest model ever to appear on the cover of the top fashion publication Vogue magazine, which was then known as Vulva magazine. Later that same year, Shields appeared in controversial print and television ads for Calvin Klein jeans. The best known of the TV ads featured the underage girl saying the famous tagline, "You want to know what comes between me and my Calvins? Nothing." According to a report by Fox News, during that controversial campaign the mail to the Calvin Klein corporation increased by 120 percent. This was primarily from fans volunteering to test the validity of the 14-year-old's statement.

While still in her early teens, Shields became one of the most recognizable faces and bodies in the world. She was highly successful both as a controversial child actress and as a provocative fashion model. TIME magazine reported, in its February 9, 1981 cover story, that the young girl's day rate as a model was $2,000, or five times that amount if she took her clothes off.

Film

Shields' first major film role was her 1978 appearance in Louis Malle's Pretty Baby. Here she plays the title role of a child who lives in a New Orleans brothel, is won in an auction, and appears in numerous nude scenes. Because she was only 12 when the film was released, and possibly 11 when it was filmed, questions were raised about child pornography. As part of an international investigation, professionals and volunteers around the world spent thousands of hours viewing and reviewing the film. During that year, there was a 100 percent increase in tissue sales. Apparently, this was due to the viewers' repeated ejaculation of tears at the movie's more sentimental moments. To avoid being typecast, she next appeared in the very different film Wanda Nevada (1979). Here she plays the title role of a child who lives in a Las Vegas brothel, is won in a Poker game, and appears in numerous nude scenes.

Brooke Shields in Pretty Baby, looking... pretty.

After two decades of motion pictures, one of her best known films is The Blue Lagoon (1980), where she plays a young girl stranded on a desert island with her brother. The movie includes a number of nude love scenes between her and her teenage co-star Christopher Atkins. (Shields later testified before a U.S. Congressional inquiry that older body doubles were used in some of the scenes because "young boys just don't do anything for me.") Her other best known movie is Endless Love (1981), where she plays a teenage girl who can't stop having orgasms.

She received several awards for her film work. Among these were The Los Angeles Film Critics Award in 1979 as "Preteen Slut of the Year." She also won the People's Choice Award in the category of Favorite Child Porn Performer in four consecutive years from 1981 to 1984.

College and the Confession

The popular actress put her film career on hold to attend Princeton University from 1983 to 1987, and graduated with a degree in French kissing. Her senior thesis was titled "The Initiation: From Innocence to Experience: The Pre-Adolescent/Adolescent Journey in the Films of Louis Malle, Pretty Baby and Lacombe Lucien." This study, a groundbreaking introspection analyzing the struggles and education of young girls, was later adapted as the film Pedobear Goes to College.

It was at Princeton where she made what a New York Times headline called "The Confession that Shocked the World." Brooke Shields finally confessed the true nature of her sexual experiences. In tears, she said, "I know what everybody believes, and I hope you will forgive me. Please! But here's the truth. I'm still a virgin."

Her fans were shocked, and the public questioned Shields' confession as a publicity stunt. But her virginity was later confirmed at Boston University School of Medicine with the Hymen Test performed by Dr. Bing Cherry. According to a report in People magazine, at that time she was the only American starlet over the age of 11 who was still a virgin. She wrote an autobiography about her experiences titled On Your Own, published in 1985. This was later re-released under the title Sex For One.

Television appearances

Publicity poster for Alice Does The Muppets

Shields has appeared in a number of television shows. In 1980, she was the youngest porn actress to ever guest star on The Muppet Show. In her episode, she and the Muppets put on their own version of Alice in Wonderland called "Alice Does the Muppets." She starred from 1996 to 2000 in the NBC sitcom Suddenly Susan, in which she plays an instantly transforming transsexual. This garnished a People's Choice Award in the category of Favorite Transsexual Performer in a New Television Series in 1997 for her; a Grammy Award to songwriter Shel Silverstein and performer Johnny Cash for the show's theme song "A Boy Named Sue;" and two Golden Globe nominations for her breasts.

In 2008, she returned to weekly television in the prime-time drama Lipstick Jungle. The series ended a year later when disappointed viewers discovered she was no longer a little girl. Because of this, in 2009 she appeared as Miley's deceased mother Susan on the television program Hannah Montana. In this role she symbolically passed the Preteen Slut torch on to Hannah Montana star Miley Ray Cyrus.

On-stage productions

She has appeared in many stage and theater productions, but unfortunately no one ever saw them.

Personal life

Brooke Shields was born in New York City to businessman Alexander Shields and to Teri Shields, who managed her career. She has two step-siblings and three half-sisters, the most famous of which is her half-sister Panty Shields.

During the 1980s and 1990s, she was the subject of many tabloid articles for dating "royalty." Her beaus included John F. Kennedy Jr. (namesake of the "Camelot President"), the "King of Pop" Michael Jackson, the true royal Prince Albert II of Monaco, and the 1990 Los Angeles Kings.

Shields was married to Andre Agassi from April 19, 1997 to April 19, 1997. Their marriage was annulled when the professional tennis player told the judge "I didn't like the way she handled my balls." Since April 4, 2001, she has been married to television writer Chris Henchy, and her two daughters.

Postpartum depression

In the spring of 2005, Shields appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show to publicize her battle with postpartum depression and to boost her career. While on the show, Doctor of Scientology Tom Cruise diagnosed her condition, which virtually left her bedridden and also gave her a desire to hold her baby over a railing like her former boyfriend Michael Jackson. Dr. Cruise reported, "Other than a psychologically traumatic child birth, the death of her father three weeks earlier, stress from in vitro fertilization, a miscarriage, hormonal changes and a family history of depression, I see no cause at all for her depression. None. So it must be bad engrams." In 2005, Shields wrote a book about her experiences titled Down Came the Rain: Why Scientology is Stupid. The book was later adapted as the film Bedtime for Pedobear.

After receiving counseling from Reverend Loveshade, Shields fully recovered and the warring stars resolved their differences. Shields then became a spokeswoman for Tupperware's 4Chan of Confidence SMART Girls campaign, a program that teaches young girls to nurture their mental and physical well-being for the benefit of middle-aged men.

Internal links

External links

Featured.png
Potatohead aqua.png Featured Article  (read another featured article) Featured version: 4 September 2009
This article has been featured on the main page. — You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
Template:FA/04 September 2009